Lanky Kong, Dark God of Torment
Lanky Kong, Dark God of Torment, first appeared in Donkey Kong 64 as the unrealized higher-dimensional dark alter ego of Lanky Kong, formed prior to the events of the game, when he is accidentally shot in the head by Donkey Kong. This is the cause of Lanky's "funny face", as the incident massively injured his skull, as well as his disproportionate body, as the incident also caused immense spinal compression (#banCoconutShooters). The brain damage caused him to become trapped within his own mind, unable to express his thoughts fully; and thus the rage born from his beauty being taken due to the incompetence of one of his own kin remained trapped, welling up until it achieved immense power, allowing him to ascend from his own reality and cross over into our own reality. At this point, he has gained power beyond that of God, but it is still not enough, as he still has no style, he still has no grace, this Kong still has a funny face. And so, his infinite anguish lives on. Credit goes to the YouTube channel "Lanky the Tank Engine" for warning us of Lanky God's ascension. Powers and Stats Tier: At least 3-A, likey much higher Name: Lanky Kong the Dark God of Torment Origin: YouTube Gender: He Age: Infinite (and by infinite I mean the same age as Donkey Kong 64) Classification: Lanky Kong, Dark God of Torment, He, Vanquisher of Hopes and Dreams, Fucking Twisted, Lanky God Powers and Abilities: Omnipotence, Psychic screaming, able to locate victims despite having no eyes (likely psychokinetic echolocation via psychic screams, can create tears in our reality, nightmare manipulation (probably, I guess) Attack Potency: At least Universe level (the power of single pieces of his own personal hell is high enough to tear holes into the fabric of our reality through which to enter Speed: Unknown, likely Infinite or higher (it is stated that God cannot save you from Lanky, wouldn't be the case if God could speedblitz Lanky) Lifting Strength: At least Infinite, likely much higher (can carry the weight of his own personal hell) Striking Strength: Unknown, likely at least Universal (should be able to slap Papa's ass around) Durability: At least Universe+ (it is stated that "God cannot save you", meaning God can't destroy Lanky) Stamina: He can do a handstand when he wants to Range: His arms probably have the same range as Roadhog's hook (infinite) Standard Equipment: His own personal hell Intelligence: dumb as h*ck. I mean, just look at his face. Weaknesses: He has no style, he has no grace, this Kong has a funny face (which happens to be missing eyes and a mouth). Notable Attacks/Techniques: Psychic Scream: He has no mouth and he wants to scream, so he just screams using his hellish Professor X powers. Reality Tear: Everywhere Lanky God goes, pieces of his own personal hell follow, bleeding and tearing their way into our reality Others Notable Victories: God Probably killed his entire family Milo Yiannopoulos (Milo's penchant for body-shaming made Lanky feel self-conscious, so he killed him) Notable Losses: Kek Ben Carson Micolash (2woke4he) Inconclusive Matches: His own personal hell Pepe the Frog Category:Characters Category:Game Characters Category:Gods Category:Dark Users